


It's Really You

by liane1787



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apologies, Community: spnkink_meme, Dean Apologizes, Fix-It of Sorts, Prompt Fill, Some Humor, Suspicion of Possession or Curses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 05:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12314709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liane1787/pseuds/liane1787
Summary: Written as a fill for a prompt over on spnkink_meme (full prompt in the notes). Set immediately after the events of 12x09 - First Blood, after Cass kills Billie.Cute oneshot of Dean trying to apologize for his past words/actions towards Sam, and Sam mistaking Dean's good intentions for possession/curses/etc. and trying to "cure" him.Rated teen and up for some language.





	It's Really You

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this prompt over on the spnkink_meme and I thought it was adorable. I mean, come on, the idea of Dean trying to apologize and Sam freaking out because he thinks Dean's been possessed or something...how could I pass it by? I'm supposed to be working on about 100 other things right now, but the muse went "nope, we're doing this instead". XD Hope y'all like it! 
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> _Full prompt: No one can deny that Sam's messed up and done things he should have; Sam readily admits it when he does, apologizes, and works to fix things. Dean... not so much. He messes up too, way more than he's willing to admit, and he has never once apologized to Sam for the crap he's put his little brother through, tearing him down and sniping at him when Sam is already low. The Mark of Cain was the worst, telling Sam that he should have been mutilated and burning on the pyre instead of Charlie even though her death was in no way Sam's fault, but it was by no means the only time, and some of those times haven't had the excuse of mind-altering supernatural influences. And Sam just takes the abuse, doesn't argue, doesn't fight._
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> _So give me this: Dean realizes on his own (or is told/shown by something/someone) all the times he's been a total dick to Sam, deserved or not, all the times he went off on his baby brother saying hurtful things he'd never let anyone else get away with saying and Sam just taking it. And Dean knows he owes Sam the mother of all apologies. So that's what he tries to do._
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> _Sam's response? Silver, holy water, exorcism after exorcism, researching curses and spells, all the while promising Dean that he'll "get him back to normal". Bonus points if someone questions Sam's certainty that something is wrong and Sam's response is, "You don't understand. He was apologizing! The real Dean never apologizes for anything, not even when he admits he might have been wrong!"_
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> _Give me a Dean who has it rubbed in his face how often he's hurt his brother without apologizing and how well he's gotten Sam trained to think that's how it's supposed to be. If you can do it without character bashing either of the boys, I will love you forever._

* * *

 

 

 

Dean stormed into the bunker and headed straight for the kitchen. Right now the need for alcohol was outweighing the need for sleep. By a lot.

 

“I’ll go talk to him,” Mary offered, but Sam stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.

 

“Let me, Mom?” he asked. “These last few weeks were really hard, but at least I know how he’s feeling. I might be able to get through to him better.”

 

“Alright,” Mary backed down. She squeezed Sam’s hand and watched him head down the hall to talk to his brother. For a moment she considered going to her room here in the bunker and getting some sleep, but she had an intuition that Sam was being overly optimistic about his chances of calming Dean down.

 

Sam hovered in the doorway to the kitchen and winced as he watched Dean snatch a bottle of Jack off the counter and take a long swallow straight from the bottle.

 

“Hey, whoa, hold on a second,” Sam stepped forward as Dean went to upend the bottle again. He gently, but determinedly pried it out of Dean’s hand. “You really think this is a good idea right now?”

 

“I’ve had worse ones,” Dean held his hand out for the bottle.

 

“No,” Sam easily kept it out of his brother’s reach. “Look, I get it. You’re pissed about what Cass did. He saved us, though. He saved _Mom_.”

 

“Which I’m grateful for,” Dean insisted. “The problem I’m having are these ‘cosmic consequences’ that Billie mentioned. Cass completely ignored that, and now god knows what we’re looking at.”

 

“He thought he was doing the right thing,” Sam pointed out.

 

“Can’t you see that’s the problem?!” Dean suddenly exploded. “That’s _always_ the problem, Sam! I mean, when you killed Lilith you thought you were doing the right thing too, and look how that turned out. You jumpstarted the damn Apocalypse! What if that’s the sort of thing we’re looking at again?”

 

Sam flinched at the reminder. Hell, they wouldn’t even be in this situation with Lucifer and Kelly and everything else if he hadn’t been the one to let Lucifer out of the Cage to begin with. And then his insistence on bringing Lucifer into the fight against Amara, which had resulted in springing him from the Cage _again._ Sure Cass had been the one to say yes that time, but it had been Sam’s idea to get Lucifer involved that kick started the whole thing.

 

“Right,” Sam clenched his jaw, intent on not letting Dean see how much it hurt to be reminded of that yet again. “Well, I guess we’re going to have to wait and find out. There’s nothing we can do about it tonight, though. I’m going to bed. You might want to think about doing the same.”

 

Dean felt a pang of guilt as Sam turned and left the kitchen. Which was quickly replaced by indignation. Sam had taken the whiskey with him. He slumped down in one of the seats at the table and scrubbed a hand through his hair in irritation.

 

“Did he really deserve that?”

 

Dean whipped around. Damn, Mom was quiet. He hadn’t even heard her come into the kitchen, but there she was standing only a few feet away from him.

 

“Probably not,” he admitted, anger draining out of him.

 

Mary took a seat across from Dean and watched him rub tiredly at his eyes. She couldn’t help smiling a little at that. It reminded her so strongly of how, as a four year old, Dean had done the same thing when he was overtired.

 

“You were pretty hard on your brother just now,” Mary scolded, pushing the old memories away. They still hurt too much to think about, especially when something like that brought back just how much of her boys growing up she had missed.

 

“I know,” Dean sighed. “It’s kind of our thing, though. You know? We call each other on crap like that. Keep each other accountable.”

 

“Do you really?” Mary raised an eyebrow.

 

“Of course.” Dean frowned across the table at her. “What do you mean?”

 

“I just…” Mary hesitated, debating with herself for a moment. She and Dean were obviously still on rocky terms, and what she had to say wasn’t going to help things. “I know I haven’t been around much, and I missed a lot with you two, but…it just doesn’t quite seem like a two way street there.”

 

“What do you mean?” his frown sharpened into what could probably properly be called a glare at this point.

 

“All I’m saying is that, from what I’ve seen, Sam seems to be the main focus of this ‘accountability’. And I don’t know that I’ve ever really seen it reciprocated,” Mary reached over and took one of Dean’s hands in hers. “Just think on it, okay?”

 

She patted his hand and stood. She’d been intending on leaving it at that, but she paused another moment.

 

“You’re a good man, Dean, and an amazing big brother. I just think maybe you’re so concerned with making sure Sam doesn’t repeat his mistakes that you wind up being harder on him than you realize.”

 

That said, Mary dropped a kiss on the top of Dean’s head and left the kitchen.

 

Dean glared down at the table. That couldn’t be true. Could it?

 

_“If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you.”_

_“You chose a demon over your own brother.”_

_“You left me to die for a girl?”_

_“You got her killed. You don’t get to apologize.”_

_“You know what I think? I think it should be you up there.”_

 

“Oh my god,” Dean buried his face in his hands.

 

He’d said every one of those things to his little brother. All of those and more. And those were just the things he’d _said_. That wasn’t counting the number of times that he’d lashed out physically. If anyone else – human, demon, angel, it didn’t matter – literally _anyone_ had said or done even half of what he had to his little brother, he’d have threatened to rip their lungs out. All along, he’d been doing it, though and had never once apologized or tried to make things right.

 

Dean shot to his feet and beelined for Sam’s room. Maybe he’d never apologized before, which meant there was no better time to start.

 

“Sammy?” Dean didn’t bother to knock. They’d lived in tiny motel rooms together their entire lives. It wasn’t like they really had any concept of personal space.

 

“Huh? What?” Sam blinked sleepily from his bed and winced as Dean flipped the lights on. “Jesus, Dean. What?”

 

“Look, let me get this out, okay?” Dean sat on the edge of Sam’s desk. He cleared his throat nervously. “I, uh, I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking, and…”

 

“Seriously?” Sam interrupted. “You’re drunk, Dean. Go to bed.”

 

“No, I’m not drunk,” Dean told him. “Listen to me. I shouldn’t have gone off on you the way I did out there. Hell, half the things I say to you, I shouldn’t. I’ve been this huge asshole to you over the years, and I guess I didn’t even realize it. So, um, I’m apologizing. For all of it. All the times I said nasty shit to you just to hurt you. All the times I hit you. All of it.”

 

“You’re…apologizing?” Sam was looking at him with wide eyes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And you’re sure you’re not drunk?”

 

“How could I be? You took the whiskey with you.”

 

“Okay, then.”

 

“Okay,” Dean nodded contentedly. “Good. Sorry I woke you up. I’m gonna…”

 

He cut off abruptly as he got a face full of holy water and was suddenly staring down the barrel of Sam’s Taurus.

 

“Whoa!” Dean’s hands shot up defensively. “What the hell, Sam?!”

 

“Okay, so you’re not possessed,” Sam said, mostly to himself.

 

“Possessed?” Dean blinked in confusion.

 

In a flash, the Taurus was tucked into the waistband of Sam’s sleep pants and a silver knife replaced it in his hand. He grabbed Dean’s wrist and made a quick slice across his forearm, then stared hard at it when it didn’t sizzle or bubble.

 

“OW!” Dean snatched his arm back. “I’m not a shapeshifter, you moron! Crap. No, I didn’t mean to say it like that. Sorry.”

 

“Oh my god, something must have happened to you when Billie brought us back,” Sam stared, wide-eyed at his brother for a moment before bursting back into action.

 

A few seconds later, Dean found himself cuffed and on the floor. Part of him was proud of how quickly Sam had moved and taken control of the situation. The other part of him was royally pissed at his apparently dense little brother.

 

“It’s okay, Dean,” Sam assured him. “I know you think you’re okay, but you’re not. You don’t have to worry, though. I’m gonna figure this out and get you back to normal, okay?”

 

“Get me back to normal?” Dean rolled his eyes. “I am normal. I’m me, dude!”

 

“This must be a spell or something,” Sam muttered to himself, completely ignoring Dean’s protests. He scanned the books that he had lined up on his bookshelf before selecting one. “She’s hated us for a long time. Must’ve seen this as her opportunity.”

 

“Opportunity for what?” Dean asked. “Sammy! I’m serious. I’m me. Completely me. No spells, no possession, nothing.”

 

Sam slammed the book shut and glanced down at Dean before reaching for another one.

 

“Just relax, okay?” he spoke gently, as if Dean was a wild animal or something. “I promise I’ll figure this out. You’ll be back to normal in no time, alright?”

 

“Goddammit, would you listen to me you lunatic!” Dean shouted, then cursed at himself. “I’m really trying to apologize here, but you’re not exactly making it easy.”

 

“ _Castiel!_ ” Sam bellowed out the door, abandoning this second book too.

 

“Sam?” Cass appeared a minute later, looking concerned. The look deepened when he saw Dean handcuffed on the floor.

 

“Would you be able to tell if there’s something wrong with Dean?” Sam asked. “A curse or spell or something?”

 

“It’s likely I could,” Cass tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Why are you suddenly concerned about this? Dean has appeared perfectly healthy since we rescued the both of you.”

 

“He’s not acting like himself,” Sam explained. “I think that when Billie killed us and then brought us back, she might have done something to Dean.”

 

“Boys?” Mary joined the three of them. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

 

“Mom! Thank god!” Dean tried to get up, only to have Sam push him right back down. “I came in here after you and I talked so that I could apologize to Sam and now he thinks I’m cursed!”

 

“Oh no,” Mary put a hand on Sam’s arm. “Sam, it’s alright. Really. I went in to talk to Dean after you left. He’s fine. He’s just…”

 

“No, you don’t understand, Mom,” Sam insisted. “He actually _apologized_! The real Dean would never apologize! Every once in a while he might admit to being wrong about something, but he never apologizes.”

 

“Sam, I believe your mother is correct,” Cass agreed with Mary. “From what I can tell, there doesn’t appear to be anything physically or spiritually wrong with Dean.”

 

“But…but…” Sam gaped at them. “He apologized. He’s never apologized before. It’s just not him. He doesn’t apologize. Ever.”

 

“That was kind of the whole point,” Dean said.

 

“You didn’t even apologize when you just took off without a damn word and were going to say yes to Michael,” Sam pointed out. “Or for the time you were going to sacrifice me to Death. Or…well…ever.”

 

“Which is pretty much exactly why I’m apologizing now,” Dean sighed and looked down at his hands. “Because I act like you’re the only one who’s ever messed up, when I’ve done my share of stupid crap over the years, too. The difference is, you actually own up to it and apologize while I just skate by. And then when I get pissed I drag all of your stuff back up to make you feel bad. So…yeah. I’m a dick. But I’m finally starting to realize that, so I’m trying to make it right and apologize for it. Even though I know I’m a little late on getting around to it.”

 

“So you’re not possessed? Or hexed? And completely you?” Sam looked warily down at him.

 

“You proved I’m not possessed, Cass told you flat out that I’m not cursed, and I’ve told you about fifty times now that I’m completely me,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Could you maybe let me up now?”

 

“That depends,” Sam crossed his arms.

 

“On?” Dean wondered.

 

“Whether or not you’re done being cranky to everybody else around here,” Sam’s eyes glinted playfully.

 

“Hey, one step at a time,” Dean laughed and kicked out at his brother. “C’mon, Sammy.”

 

Sam smirked at Dean and finally let him up off the floor. Mary and Cass left the room, both satisfied that the crisis was over.

 

Dean rubbed at his wrists for a moment. He was pretty sure that things were okay, but he’d come in here for a reason and he wasn’t going to half-ass it.

 

“Hey, uh, Sammy?” he fidgeted nervously.

 

“We’re good, Dean,” Sam assured him.

 

“I really am…”

 

“I know.”

 

“Thanks. Bitch.”

 

“G’night, Jerk.”


End file.
